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The 127th Upper-Class Twit of the Year Show:

“Vivian Smith-Smythe-Smith, he’s in the Grenadier Guards and he can count up to four. Simon Zinc-Trumpet-Harris, he’s an old Italian and is married to a very attractive table lamp. Nigel Incubator-Jones, his best friend is a tree and in his spare time he’s a stockbroker. Gervaise Brook-Hampster, he’s in the wine trade and his father uses him as a waste paper basket. Oliver St. John-Mollusc, his father was a Cabinet Minister and his mother won the Derby, and he’s thought by many to be this year’s outstanding twit!”

And Now For Something Completely Different